We had several questions, and the responses are fairly long so this is a bit of a series. Here's Part 2:
Have you experienced racist reactions from people?
Yes, unfortunately we do fairly often. There is a park near by where a couple times moms have told their kids to stay away from the "black girl." Most have no idea I'm her mom and will say it when I can clearly hear it.
We've been accused of only wanting to be Brad and Angelina. We constantly are stared at. People try to touch her constantly, especially her hair. Most often it happens in higher end grocery stores. Ignorant racism is rampant at Sprouts.
Most of the racism we see is pity, or are told how lucky she is to be in our family. As if being in a "white" family is somehow better. And as if her being adopted is better than her living in Uganda.
We also far more see the systematic racism in education, the government, the prison system because it's personal now. That's embarrassing to say. We should have seen and fought for equality before it was in our home. We are figuring out the best school situation for when she starts kindergarten but looking through it with a very different lens.
The Black community has been phenomenal. People have kindly offered suggestions for her hair, especially when she first came home and we were figuring it all out. A couple people stopped us in restaurants or stores to give us hair advice which was essential to us getting her hair and skin healthy.
Or I guess just any negative response about her being taken from her culture.
We saw this more in Uganda. People asked us why we would "steal" their "daughter." The sense of culture and community makes her a daughter to all Ugandans. We would really love to move into a community with more Ugandans and East Africans. We feel the loss of her culture and would love to do whatever we can to keep her connection. We also plan to go back to Uganda several times (and South Africa) and we have a dream of moving overseas.
That kidn of strayed from your questions but we feel the tug of keeping her connected. We felt like Ugandas were more offended we removed her from her culture and Americans think we are saints for "rescuing" her, the American response is far more offensive.
Can you tell me more about the agency you are using right now?
Our placing agency is Spence-Chapin. They are based in New York and only have 3 programs: Domestic, South Africa and Columbia. They like being a small agency and don't want to grow. They are proud of the fact that they are small but do things well. We appreciate that too. They're very by the book, very thorough, which we appreciate but can also make things take longer.
Longer isn't necessarily bad. Had Noeline's investigation been done properly and had the time been taken to do it properly, we would have come home way sooner.
They are not a Christian agency, both agencies we used for Noeline's adoption were. Their emphasis is on hard to place babies and kids with special needs. Our child will have special needs but we won't know what until we are offered a referral.
South Africa has only agreed to work with 2 U.S. agencies, Spence-Chapin and Bethany. They only opened adoptions to the U.S. as special needs adoptions and have said they will not work with any other agencies. We love that because it doesn't create an orphan vacuum that can often leads to corruption and child trafficking.
Have you experienced racist reactions from people?
Yes, unfortunately we do fairly often. There is a park near by where a couple times moms have told their kids to stay away from the "black girl." Most have no idea I'm her mom and will say it when I can clearly hear it.
We've been accused of only wanting to be Brad and Angelina. We constantly are stared at. People try to touch her constantly, especially her hair. Most often it happens in higher end grocery stores. Ignorant racism is rampant at Sprouts.
Most of the racism we see is pity, or are told how lucky she is to be in our family. As if being in a "white" family is somehow better. And as if her being adopted is better than her living in Uganda.
We also far more see the systematic racism in education, the government, the prison system because it's personal now. That's embarrassing to say. We should have seen and fought for equality before it was in our home. We are figuring out the best school situation for when she starts kindergarten but looking through it with a very different lens.
The Black community has been phenomenal. People have kindly offered suggestions for her hair, especially when she first came home and we were figuring it all out. A couple people stopped us in restaurants or stores to give us hair advice which was essential to us getting her hair and skin healthy.
Or I guess just any negative response about her being taken from her culture.
We saw this more in Uganda. People asked us why we would "steal" their "daughter." The sense of culture and community makes her a daughter to all Ugandans. We would really love to move into a community with more Ugandans and East Africans. We feel the loss of her culture and would love to do whatever we can to keep her connection. We also plan to go back to Uganda several times (and South Africa) and we have a dream of moving overseas.
That kidn of strayed from your questions but we feel the tug of keeping her connected. We felt like Ugandas were more offended we removed her from her culture and Americans think we are saints for "rescuing" her, the American response is far more offensive.
Can you tell me more about the agency you are using right now?
Our placing agency is Spence-Chapin. They are based in New York and only have 3 programs: Domestic, South Africa and Columbia. They like being a small agency and don't want to grow. They are proud of the fact that they are small but do things well. We appreciate that too. They're very by the book, very thorough, which we appreciate but can also make things take longer.
Longer isn't necessarily bad. Had Noeline's investigation been done properly and had the time been taken to do it properly, we would have come home way sooner.
They are not a Christian agency, both agencies we used for Noeline's adoption were. Their emphasis is on hard to place babies and kids with special needs. Our child will have special needs but we won't know what until we are offered a referral.
South Africa has only agreed to work with 2 U.S. agencies, Spence-Chapin and Bethany. They only opened adoptions to the U.S. as special needs adoptions and have said they will not work with any other agencies. We love that because it doesn't create an orphan vacuum that can often leads to corruption and child trafficking.
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