Late 2013 we had decided to wait for a little while to adopt and to explore Chris going to UCLA. In January I felt more content than I can ever remember, something I've prayed for years to feel. I'm not patient but for some reason I felt content in waiting on the adoption and just fully content in pausing. I wasn't trying to hurry ahead or jump on to the next things (which I feel like I've done since I was 17). Mere days went by and God prompted us to adopt... And then we got more news...more change. The fear crept a little deeper and took a stronger hold. We realized if Chris went to school we would loose insurance and that can't happen or else our adoption is paused. And the fear crept a little bit deeper, choking a little more..... And then we got more news. Chris was accepted to UCLA. And I cried, big, ugly, scary tears. Chris rejoiced and I sank into my fear. This HUGE opportunity is such a blessing. He will get to study what he loves and I'll be abl...